You Jokes

Tourist

Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

Skeleton

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.

Baby

Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?

A: Depends how hard you throw them.

Injury

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

Sleep

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Cheetah

Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!

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  • Aunt

    Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

    Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

    Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

    Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

    Deer

    What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?

    Still no idea. 😂