You Jokes

Things said by racist aliens:

"Some of my best friends are Green."

"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."

"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."

"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"

"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."

"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"

"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."

"Get out of my store you grigger!"

"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"

Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.

The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"

The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.

Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?

Never mind. It’s too cheesy!

What do you call an expert fisherman?

A "MASTER-BAITER".

Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."

What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?

An orphan.

I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.

When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?

Tan toes.

Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

How do you count cows?

With a cowculator.

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.