You jokes
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What time is it when you say, "Wake up?"
It is morning.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
What did the poo say to the fart:
You blow me away!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.