New You Jokes - Page 520 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you get when you eat a hamburger?

Mustard gas.

A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."

Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...

Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?

Doctor: 9... 8... 7...

If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"

How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."

What do you call a wingless fly?

A walk!

You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.

The twin towers are like water bottles.

It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.

People are like tequila glasses,

you gotta shoot them down fast.

I would create an orphan website..... But you need a home page to do that. (since somebody stole this joke before)🤷‍♀️

I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.

I have a really good joke.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?

It was called "S & N."

What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.

Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.

what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”