When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
i dont have any friends if you like this i can be your friend :)
what do you call a pig with two legs.....................Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
what do you call a cow without any legs......... ground beef
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
How many baby’s does it take to paint a wall .depends on how many you throw
I still remember my granddads last words,
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and Acne? Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
