Yeah jokes

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

Yeah yeah.

The bully: You're gay.

The nerd: I am.

The bully: Yeah.

The nerd: Then what are you?

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”

Soldier says, “Mhm.”

Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”

Soldier says, “Really?”

The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.

Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

Hi, I have a question for you.

Did you know that reading this is wasting your time?

Yeah, sorry xD

Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?

Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.

Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!

Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].

Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.

Also me: Are you okay?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?

Me: Because you have no family.

Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.

Anyways,

Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!

But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".

What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.

Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!

Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.

So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."

The bully: Your gay.

The nerd: You are.

The bully: Yeah.

The nerd: What, your gay?