World jokes

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!

What's the best cheese in the world?

Dick cheese.

If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.

"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

What’s the most emo country in the world?

Qatar.

Have you heard of the current event in Africa?

It’s known as the Hunger Games.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...

What does Fortnite and real life have in common?

They both lost their tower.

How old are 9/11 victims?

"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"

Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."

I rate my dad as a pilot 9 out of 11.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.