World

World jokes

Covid

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

Eye

An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...

...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.

Thesaurus

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

People

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Man

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Canada

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Warfare

Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mom

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

Tower

What does Fortnite and real life have in common?

They both lost their tower.

Grandpa

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...

Trust

The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.

Wish

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

Flag

Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.