Wonder jokes

Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"

An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.

You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

I wonder how many people read this wrong.

Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."

I made this up.

I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.

Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.

Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.

Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.

If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.

If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.

Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?

It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...

Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...

Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"

Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"

If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.

Q: Why did Stevie Wonder drown?

A: Because there wasn't a lifeguard in sight.