Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Girls are like stones.
The flat ones get skipped.
Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!
Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
Gays: "I like men."
Straight: "I like women."
Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."
What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No.
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
