Women jokes

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...

My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.

Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?

Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.

Hippity hoppity, women are property.

My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

This is Riley abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.