Wish Jokes

I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

I wish they taught 9/11 at school.

It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨

The image shows a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, two figures are depicted. One on the left with a turban states three rules: "no wishing for death", "no falling in love", and "no bring back dead people." In the second panel, the same turbaned figure states, "There are 4 rules" while the other figure says, "I want my rifle to moan when I load a new mag."

What does a orphan wish they could do?

Wish happy Mothers Day and Father's Day

Genie: What are your 3 wishes?

Me: Make every word 4 letters long.

Geni: Wish Gran.

Me: Make every word start with "br".

Genie: Brsh Bran.

Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

What does the depressed person say to the happy person?

"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."

Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.

Genie: Your wish is granted.

Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.

I wish I could follow you, though.

But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.