All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.
Wish Jokes
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
Funny.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What is George Floyd's favorite song?
"Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD.
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...