Wipe jokes
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.