How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
