The 50+ Best Wipe Jokes

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur and the rabbit says no So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit

What does Star Trek and Toilet Paper have in common??

Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!

What did the Cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wipe his ass.

What caused Captain Hook's death?

He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.

A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her. "Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.

"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."

The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."

The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fullfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"

"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.

"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"

When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks 😂

If you kill an orphan would that count as a squad wipe.

What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."

So a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "does your poop stick to your fur?" And the rabbit replied, "no" and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

so i took a poop out side when i was done i wiped and got it on my finger after that i had nutella and i thought the poop on my hand was nutella and i licked it i said daddy chill what in the heck is this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her

Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

Whats the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?

When the air blower blew it did not wipe out Hiroshima.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.

Why did the butt let out a fart A: to wipe out humanity

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.