Wipe jokes
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.