Wipe jokes
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.