Win

Win Jokes

Mom

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

MVP

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

Society

A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.

Who wins?

Society.

Like

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

Jack and Jill

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They’re draining the economy doooown!

They’ve spent our budget on weed

and lube to spill Jack’s seed.

They’ve ruined our wonderful town!

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They have no moralityyyy.

They’re spreading degeneracy.

We ain't what we used to be.

We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.

They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.

Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.

We’re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill!

They’ve banked off buying boooze!

They’ll drink and sell the price

at the original times thrice.

Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

We’re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

Their kids’re in the business tooo!

They’re draining all our banks.

Give 'em well deserved spanks.

We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.

What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!

A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.

It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!

WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!

Republican

"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"

"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."

Poker

Why do butts always win at poker?

They always hold the best PAIRS!

Shooting

Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.

Emo kid

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.

Step

Steps to win a Nerf war:

Step 1. Take out Nerf bullets.

Step 2. Load hollow points.

Step 3. Win!

Fight

What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?

A food fight and a water fight!

Fire

My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.

Grandma

My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."

She died in a fire.

Emo

Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?

Because when they win, they lose.

Fight

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

Bingo

After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"