Win jokes
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Your Fortnite win rate.
You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool? Posiedown.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
When you are playing Fortnite and you get a big W, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.
One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."
"I don't want to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.
The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.
"Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.
The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"
The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."
The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"
"All I remember is that horrible smell..."
The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
What was the winning play at the leper football game? A hand off up the middle.