Why jokes
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed." The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong." The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they wanna feel wanted.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.