Why jokes
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Because the Africans couldn't swim.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
Why did the dog cause the fight?
Because it was a bulldog.
Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the only contraction they know.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Cos every time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.