Why jokes
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.
The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."
Lol
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.