Why jokes

School shooting

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

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  • Helen Keller

    Why can't Helen Keller drive?

    Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.

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  • Pizza

    You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?

    Boss: You're fired!

    Me: Ok?

    Worker: Why are you fired?

    Me: Oh, you wanna know...

    *shows him the oven with my pizza*

    Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!

    Worker: OH SHIT!!

    Boss: Did you say pizza?

    Me: I sure did!

    *shows boss pizza in oven*

    Me: This hoe black as fuck!

    Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?

    Braille

    Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.

    Squirrel

    Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!

    Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.

    Pedo

    Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?

    To get them in his van.

    Pharmacy

    Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies?

    Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.

    Baby

    Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?

    Because it wasn’t born yesterday...

    Skeleton

    Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

    because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.

    iPhone

    A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?

    The apple was already bitten.