Why jokes

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People

  • Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

    A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

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  • Circle

  • You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

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    School

  • One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

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    Cat

  • A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”

    He responded with, “The cat is dead.”

    She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”

    “She’s playing on the roof.”

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  • Orphanage

  • A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.

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    Masturbation

  • Boy goes to Confession.

    Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

    Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

    Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

    Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

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  • Orphan

  • Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

    Blow job

  • I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

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    Son

  • "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

    "Why not?"

    "He keeps peeing in the pool."

    "Well, all kids pee in the pool."

    "Not from the diving board!"

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  • Maze

  • Why can't depressed people leave the maze?

    Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.

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  • Heart

  • Man: What's up?

    Me: I'm annoyed.

    Man: Why?

    Me: I stole my gf's heart.

    Man: So why are you annoyed?

    Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.

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    Orphan

  • Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

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