Why jokes
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!
Why is 8 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 ate 9.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.