Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Why Jokes
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
