Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Why Jokes
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
Why was the sun afraid of the ocean?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
