Why Jokes

Chicken

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!

Conductor

A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

Misunderstanding

Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."

Hawaii

Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?

She washed up on the beach.

Pizza

Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.

Fox

Why do animals hate playing card games with foxes?

They’re a bunch of cheetahs!

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  • Animal

    Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?

    Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!

    Orphan

    Why do orphans go to church so much?

    So they can have someone to call father.

    Toilet Paper

    Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.

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  • Man

    Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?

    ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.

    Maze

    Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?

    He got corn-ered!