Why jokes
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
Why don't orphans have phones?
Because they have no home buttons.
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it home.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?
Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why is this a category?
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.