an apple and a emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time who hit the ground first? the apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
Who wants to be my boyfriend plzz
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
What do you call an orphan who became a priest? Father-less
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c–
MOO!
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
Q: What is the favorite song of the people who window dived out of the Twin Towers?
A: "Free Fallin'"
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Knock knock who's there me me who me not me
If ypu were to drop an emo & a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first
The leaf cuz the emo is always hanging
Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?
The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
Who are the world's fastest readers?
The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
