Who is the blindest person in the world?
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Gay.
Gay who?
You're gay.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Who was in Paris?
I dunno, the title was censored.
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
Who likes dick answer me
Who sucked on my cock?
Answer: You.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Who likes Fortnite? Gwen Stacy is in the game, let's goooooo! I love her!
who has no home? orphans
