Wheelchair jokes
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.
The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.
Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.