Wheelchair jokes
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair with a gun? A rxd.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."