Wheelchair jokes

Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.

One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.

The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.

What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?

"An RC-XD!"

A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?

A vegetable rack.

Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.

If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?

Hot Wheels :)

Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.

What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?

I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.

As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.