Wheelchair Jokes

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Anything they can't catch you.

Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."

I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?

Meals on wheels.

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!

No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.

Pop in the toilet.

Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!

A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.

I left my Avatar at home today.

I never get off on the wrong foot.

Stand? Wait. No.

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?

Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.