Wheelchair jokes

Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Anything they can't catch you.

I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Stand? Wait. No.

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"

My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.

As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.