Wheelchair

Wheelchair Jokes

Man

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

Trampoline

I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.

Cousin

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Wife

A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"

Chair

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

Kid

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

Robot

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

Nun

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.

Man

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

Basketball

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

Girlfriend

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

Stephen Hawking

Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"

Song

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

Comedy

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."