Wheelchair jokes
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
Stand? Wait. No.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
What did Stephen Hawking's mum say to him when he asked for £10?
"You can take a run and jump!"
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
If half of Stephen Hawking's house was painted red and half was painted blue, what color were the stairs?
He didn't have any.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."
Why was Stephen Hawking known as lazy?
Because he was always sitting on the job.