Wheelchair jokes
I never get off on the wrong foot.
What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.