Wheelchair jokes

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?

Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

Because there wasn’t a ramp.

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

A quad rasher ran him over.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?

They both charge.