Wheelchair jokes

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."

Stand? Wait. No.

Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?

Because they have to pay for road tax.

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?

Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

Because there wasn’t a ramp.

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!