Wheelchair jokes

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Stand? Wait. No.

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?

Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

Because there wasn’t a ramp.

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.