Wheelchair jokes
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples actually get picked.
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.