Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.
Me: Guess who came crawling right back?
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
