Whats jokes

What's the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.

What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.

What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!

What is the difference between a car and a tree?

A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)

What bee can't fly?

Koby.

What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?

Tourists.

A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.

She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”

“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.

“Exactly,” replied the mom.

What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?

They both have to stay in the kitchen.

What is heavy forward but not backward?

What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.

Girl: What is abortion?

Man: Ask your brother.

Girl: But I don't have a brother!

Man: Exactly!

I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.

What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?

A killstreak.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.