Whats jokes
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
What do you call a selfie of an orphan? A family photo.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.