Whats jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.
What is an orphan's favorite superhero? Batman.
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green Bay Packers & New England Patriots
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
What's more annoying than uncles?
Ants.
What is this?
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
What’s the opposite of poo?
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."
"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"
Comment anything if you like what you saw with Gwen in her bra!
Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
What's George Floyds Favorite color... Kneeon