I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
Whats Jokes
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because of my short hair. I mean, what did you expect? I'm gay, of course, I have short hair.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.
Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.
Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
What kind of mountain does everyone like?
Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.
What do you call a guy named Ben?
Answer: Ben
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.