Whats jokes
What do you call a person?
A person.
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
What's the difference between Black and White people?
Blacks don't need N-Word Passes.
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..
Just put the diaper on her 😉
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
What did the Emo and the Orphan have in common?
They both hang with the trees.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
What's a flat-chested emo called?
A cutting board.
What do you call your mom?
My wwwwiiiiiifffffffeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!@#$%