If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
Whats Jokes
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
What’s yellow and can’t swim??
A school bus with elementary kids.
What goes after the butt?
The POST-erior.
What's up with airline food?
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
