Whats jokes
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What’s a homeless person's favorite food?
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family portrait.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist!
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.