Whats jokes
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather.
The rope stopped the kid.
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?
Treon: How did you find that?!
Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!
Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!
Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Treon: We can't!
Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.
What do you call a burned Mexican? A fried torteya.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
What did the steak say to the other steak?
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.