Whats jokes
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
What did the steak say to the other steak?
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel!
What is an orphan's family portrait called?
A self-portrait.
What is the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.
Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!
Llama: What's your damn problem?
Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?
Chew-chew train! Hee hee!
What has a tail, a head, but no body?
A coin.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.