Whats

Whats Jokes

Brother

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.

And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.

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  • Orphan

    What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

    At least one of them gets picked.

    Soulmate

    My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

    Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

    Orphan

    What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

    A flower gets picked.

    Barbie

    What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?

    "Eye torture!"

    Grenade

    What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

    They both make a noise when you throw them.

    Man

    Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

    Teacher

    My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"

    Josh: Cookies.

    Jacob: My parents.

    Erika: My Friends!

    Brody: Lamborghinis.

    Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)

    My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!

    *Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....

    Orphanage

    I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.

    Priest

    One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?" the priest asks. "Christian kittens," the little girl answers.

    Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way.

    A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box," he says, "It's the cutest thing!"

    The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens," she says.

    The priest rushes forward and says, "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were 'Christian kittens!!!'"

    "They were," she says. "Now their eyes are open."

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