Whats Jokes

What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?

A frog in a blender.

What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?

Ape Suzettes.

What does a gorilla attorney study?

The law of the jungle.

What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.

What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?

It's chocolate chimp.

What do you call an annoyed octopus?

Octopissy.

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?

Beat It.

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"

One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

What am I doing?

Your mom.

Me: I have an arrow in my head.

My friend: What's the point of that?

Me: Of the arrow?

Friend: No!

Me: Probably the flint.

*Son comes out as gay*

Me: What's 17 more years?