Whats jokes
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
What am I doing?
Your mom.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
*Son comes out as gay*
Me: What's 17 more years?
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RX XD INBOUND!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?
A flower gets picked.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What is an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?
Anglosaxon.
What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?
"Eye torture!"