What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?
One's wanted.
Whats Jokes
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
What does "the whole pile of poops" mean?
"The whole pile of shits."
What do you call a one-legged China man?
Ty Whon Shu.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
