I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Whats Jokes
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?
Memories: I have ligma.
Ligma what?
Ligma balls.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)
What's tree plus tree?
Sticks!
What's it called if an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
