Whats jokes
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
What do you call a train full of gum?
A chew chew train.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
What if your Corona test is neutral?
What did Jarrah say to Hanjour?
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."