Whats jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"