Whats

Whats jokes

Lie clock

    • A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

  • 3

    • Boob

    • What does one boob say to the other boob?

    If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

    Jesus

    • What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

    The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

  • 1

    • Gender

    • What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

    There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.

    Penguin

    • A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

    A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

    The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

    Cancer

    • Doctor: I have bad news.

    Man: What?

    Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

    Man: Oh, no...

    Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

    Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

  • 1

    • Orphanage

    • I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.