Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:
Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
"So what, ah, my G?"
What do orphans call a family photo?
A selfie.
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?
Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
