Whats jokes
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
I specialize in jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?
The apples got picked!
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.